So I haven’t finished the book yet; in fact, I just started it today. But Hope Edelman’s memoir The Possibility of Everything is really fantastic. The book tells the story of a time when her family has to deal with her daughter Maya’s imaginary friend, Dodo. Dodo is, perhaps, evil, and somehow, Edelman makes me believe this is possible.

I first heard Hope read an essay version of this story when I was in grad school. (She was a professor at Antioch). I have been waiting for the book to come out ever since. Something about the story – most specifically, something about Hope’s way of telling the story has kept me hooked on it since I heard that first draft more than five years ago. Now, that’s what I call a compelling tale.

I don’t know what will happen in the book; I am eager to find out what happens to Maya and how the family comes through this. But more importantly, I want to see this woman, this wife, this mother, this writer come to understand things – herself, her husband, her child, her work. There’s an honesty that comes through on these pages where she reveals her own, nearly sub-conscious, beliefs about how she’ll be abandoned by her husband and thought crazy by those around her, and I am an absolute fan of honesty. Maybe it makes me feel better about myself (okay, it certainly does), but the most crucial thing is that it lets me connect, lets me feel for the Hope in a way that people do not often let us feel for them. I don’t pity her; I don’t feel sorry for her. I just understand. I have been there, at least in some ways.

The pacing of the book is great. The characterization is great. The story is, well, great. And I’m going back to read it right now. You should get a copy and read it, too. You really should.

– The Possibility of Everything by Hope Edelman

Filed by Andi at 5:33 pm under Book Recommendations, Written and Wrought
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There is just one idea that I’m never going to be able to come to terms with – the concept that to get ahead in life, to get what your dreams are, you have to crush other people along the way.

This idea came to mind when I stood in Whole Foods today. I was buying cat food, milk and cream of mushroom soup, and as I waited for the woman in front of me to buy all her organic food and then insist on double bagging every purchase and asking the cashier to put a rubber band around all of her pre-packaged sushi, I started looking at magazines. I really love to read them – the short articles, the new information, etc – but I don’t buy them very often because I want to use my money for other things – like buying my own farm some day. I know that in order to achieve my goals long-term I have to make some sacrifices now. But there are things I won’t sacrifice – a slower pace of life, work that I find valuable, time for the people I love. And these choices make other choices – like the farm – harder to obtain. Such is life, and I will gladly take this.

But then, sometimes, I do wonder – if I just took the job for the big corporation, if I just worked for the school that takes advantage of its employees, if I just shopped at Wal-mart – would I get ahead faster. Is this how other people do it? Probably sometimes. But also people work hard. They carry lunches to work instead of eating out; they do without new shoes or shirts so that their kids get the things they need. They buy used books instead of new ones. These are such small things that add up to big goals over time. This I know.

So I’m holding strong. I’m living with the belief that the ends do not justify the means when the means are not right or good or just. And I’m doing what I love – writing, teaching, and selling things on Etsy – to get what I ultimately hope for – a little piece of land that is mine, a country road on which to take walks in the evening, a few dogs and cats, a family. The God I love and who I know loves me will bring it pass, if it is the best thing.

Meanwhile, I watch others get their dreams, like Jenna at Cold Antler. You go girl!!

– Garage by Dawn Light – Cold Antler Farm

Filed by Andi at 5:03 pm under Uncategorized
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I just walked to the library and dropped of my latest two reads – Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger and The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver. I think it’s a reasonable view to say that I could not have had more disparate feelings about these books. I loved the Kingsolver and loathed the Niffenegger.

So let’s start with the one I didn’t like. I really wanted to like this book. I really did. It involves several things I really enjoy – England, ghosts, and ensemble “casts.” The basic premise is that a woman dies and leaves her house to her twin nieces, the daughters of her own twin sister. The story continues as nieces move to England and into her flat, which overlooks Highgate Cemetery. Her lover lives downstairs, and her neighbor with extreme OCD lives upstairs. Meanwhile, she haunts the flat.

The characters are all interesting, and the first part of the novel is engaging as people work out their relationships to one another and as we see the characters developing. But about two-thirds of the way through the book, there’s this rending plot turn that, honestly, really mortified me, not because it was so outrageous (it wasn’t) but because it seemed like such a cop out. (Forgive me, but I’m trying really hard not to spoil anything for anyone here.) I felt like Niffenegger just got tired or bored or something and quit trying to craft intricate characters in complex relationships. As one friend said, she’s never had a book make her so angry. . . it really was disappointing.

But then, I read Lacuna and my faith in the novel was restored. Kingsolver’s newest work is, in some ways, a work of historical fiction. The main character, Harrison, spends several years in Mexico as a teenager, where he ends up – by twist of fate – working for Diego Rivera and Frieda Kahlo. He develops a friendship with Kahlo and becomes the secretary for Trotsky, when the exiled leader comes to live in Mexico. After Trotsky’s murder, Harrison moves to the U.S. where he becomes a writer who is eventually investigated by HUAC. Normally, I don’t like historical fiction, but this story – maybe because I love Rivera and Kahlo as artists and people – really captured my attention.

But it’s not just the setting and context that captured me; it’s also that Kingsolver has written complex characters that are not simply good or bad but who are all – for the most part – deeply likable and lovable. As the book continued, I really began to feel like I was living in the novel, particularly when Violet Brown, Harrison’s secretary, is introduced later in the book. I just love her honesty and charm and the cracks in her decorum and strength. Great characterization there.

So that’s it – I recommend the Kingsolver but not the Niffenegger. What did you think of one or both of these books? I’d love to hear some other opinions.

The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver

– Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger

Filed by Andi at 4:35 pm under Uncategorized
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I finished up my work day about a half-hour ago, and now I am here in a quiet house on a rainy night. For tonight, this feels lovely. The gloaming light makes everything outside my window visible yet mysterious with shadows. The candles flickering downstairs give everything a sort of mystical glow. The dishwasher is working for me, and my hands smell like the Palmolive I used to scrub the pots from the baked spaghetti I made ( a giant tub of ricotta, a massive pile of Parmesan, and a whole, fresh ball of mozzarella – yum!).

I spent a few minutes playing piano – poorly, I’m afraid – while I waited for the water to boil. Debussy can quiet my soul so quickly. The cats are still groggy with the day’s sleep. Kathy isn’t home yet, and I am feeling very peaceful.

I wonder what it is about these evening times, before night really sets in, that brings me such a deep sense of comfort. I imagine it’s partially a lingering memory of childhood when my family sat down almost every night for dinner together. There was solidity and camaraderie in those dinners. There was comfort there, every night, without fail, mother, father, brother and me.

There’s also something about seeing another day to its close, a day where jobs were well-done, where tasks were finished, where the ending of the natural light signals (if I let it) a change in mood and time.

When I was a kid, I used to love this Amy Grant song called “Doubly Good to You.” It says, “If you look in the mirror at the end of a hard day and you know in your heart you have not lied. If you gave love freely, if you earned an honest wage, and if you’ve got Jesus by your side, you can thank the Father for the things that He has done and thank Him for the things He’s yet to do.” On nights like this, on evenings that come after hard days, I do thank the Lord; God has been doubly good to me.

Filed by Andi at 5:08 pm under Uncategorized
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This weekend, I decided to take a couple of days at my parents’ house in central Virginia. They live on 3,500 acres of undeveloped land (former plantations), and there is not much to do here. . . it’s really just what I needed.

This morning, we started off the day by sitting around and talking about vegetarianism, the pace of life, my hope to go back into nonprofit work, my side business of selling things online for folks, their semi-retirement. . . I love these morning chats, when the day comes to life – outside and in my mind slowly – coffee, warm blankets, conversation. . .

When my dad headed to his shop and Car Talk, Mom and I suited up for a trip to the new library, which is gorgeous, and Goodwill to drop off some things we wanted to get rid of. We wandered through a couple of shops looking at yarn and sundry stuff, hit the grocery store, and came home to join Dad in his shop for smoked Swiss cheese, grapes, and fresh guacamole (I splurged on a little healthy, out of season comfort food).

Mom and I spent the afternoon listing items on Etsy. I get real pleasure out of sharing the work of my hands and the hands of people I love. There’s something pure and real about that.

Tonight, we celebrated Mom and Dad’s 40th anniversary with a great dinner that Dad put together (with a Mom-made macaroni and cheese for me). Dad pulled out the old slide projector and showed me their first few years of marriage.

Now, Mom’s buying seeds for their LARGE garden, Dad’s gearing up for Ohno’s race tonight, and I’m, well, I’m doing this.

On days when life is harder than you’d like, there’s nothing like time with people you love doing not much of anything and still being busy at it.

– One of my dad’s reclaimed Black Walnut Tables

Filed by Andi at 7:03 pm under Uncategorized
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