While this isn’t exactly a tribute to Springsteen, I do love his new album . But really, I thought I’d try to articulate, for me and those of you who are new to my blog, a sense of more of my dream for the next phase of my life and where I am in it.

So a quick recap. In June, I have resigned my job as assistant professor of English at a small community college. I simply felt the need to get away from the politics of the job and the desire to get more fully into the life of an artist, specifically a creative nonfiction writer. I have lined up some freelance work (although I could always use more, so please clue me into opportunities if you see them), and I have taken some part-time teaching hours to help pay the bills. But now, I’m into the search for income that reaches me in ways that fulfill me more completely. Teaching, but not meetings; writing, but not minutes – etc.

The second part of this dream is that I’m actively trying to sell my house (my Open House on Sunday brought in an interested family, so I’m hoping for a bid now) so that I can begin to shop for land on which to build a small farmette in Lancaster County, PA. A place where I can grow lots of my own food, where I can have more animals (dogs, sheep, alpacas – the latest dream is angora rabbits), and where I can offer a space for other artists to get a bit of respite. I also see a barn where bands/singers can give concerts, in the same vein but a smaller scale than those at the Midnight Ramble up at Levon Helm’s place.

Last night, my friend Sharon and I were talking about how much we admire people who can piece together a living and make it work. I’m going to give that a go, and see what happens. I can see myself writing, teaching, sewing, selling strawberries, charging a little for concerts, baking . . . . anything that gives me joy and fulfills me.

I have a few rules for myself as I move forward in this dream.
1. I will only do that I feel God is calling me to do. I may not be able to always discern that fully, but I will not act on something that doesn’t seem to hearken to God’s voice.
2. I will do my very best to not be a burden to anyone else around me in terms of financial support, but I will rely on my friends and family for their emotional support (and building prowess).
3. I will try to take things slow (something that’s not in my nature) and enjoy every single minute of it.
4. If rules 1-3 are met, I will take every opportunity given to me as a way to learn and grow and meet new people.

So that’s where I am: 6 weeks out from the end of my full-time job, waiting for a sale on my house, and looking for writing work. It’s a tentative but glorious place to be. I just wish everyone could “work on their dreams” while I work on mine.

– “Amish Barn” by Mark Goresky

Filed by Andi at 5:25 am under Teaching Triumphs and Travails, Written and Wrought, music reviews
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And that time is coming – six weeks or less for me! Yippee!!

So here’s what I’ve got on the list.
Capote in Kansas by Kim Powers – Just Arrived from Bookmooch

The rest of Garth Nix’s Abhorsen trilogy. (Abhorsen just came in from Bookmooch, too)

Crazy Aunt Purl’s Drunk, Divorced, and Covered in Cat Hair by Laurie Perry (Visit Laurie’s blog for a great laugh.). This one should be arriving from Bookmooch soon.

Then, I have a huge stack of things to read, a stack far too big to list here, but samples include back issues of Poets and Writers Magazine and The Writer’s Chronicle, Crazy for God by Frank Schaeffer, Changing the Face of Hunger by Tony Hall, and Jailbird by Kurt Vonnegut.

But really, I need a stellar book to kick off this new phase in my life. Something inspiring, thoughtfully – if not rhetorically – challenging, perhaps something related to living the life I’ve always wanted. I could read fiction or nonfiction; I just want something amazing.

So here’s where I ask you for help – what should be the first book I read come May 17th, the day of graduation? What book should I get and have ready? Make a recommendation with a little explanation, and if I choose your suggestion, I”ll give you five Bookmooch points (you’ll need to sign up for an account if you don’t already have one) to be used to get your summer reading list started. So recommend away, please. I can’t wait to see you what you guys have to suggest.

Filed by Andi at 5:18 am under Uncategorized
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Yesterday, on Facebook, I got a status update that told me a man named Jordan who I’ve known since he was about 4. In fact – you know what’s coming right – I used to babysit him and his siblings when I was in high school.

So I was flabbergasted to see he is 21 – a man, really. I decided to check out what he is up to, and I came across this photo of him singing – now he comes from a musical family, and my mom has been his piano teacher for years, so the musical part wasn’t a surprise. What was is that he’s part of one of UVa’s famous a capella groups. These groups are amazing – they perform songs without any instruments beyond their voices. The groups give percussion and six to ten or more part harmony. They’re phenomenal.

I scoped out Jordan’s page for a while and found out he’s part of AVP (Academical Village People – those UVa students are so witty), and the group is really wonderful. If you’d like to hear Jordan sing (and you really should), check out their albums page, select “All Night Lawn” (hee hee) and click on “I’m Yours.” (He’s performing Jason Mraz amazingly.) And then click on the other links, or visit the Media page and see some of the videos of these guys. They have so much fun, and they’re so good.

Last night, as I watched Jordan sing in a giant afro wig and prison jumpsuit, I got all teary. Here is a man, a man I watched become a man. And I couldn’t be prouder of him. Really.

Today, I am happy to be older.

Filed by Andi at 5:57 am under Uncategorized
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So this week and last, I haven’t written. I haven’t even done my normal writing practice in the morning where I read, think, meditate, and write a few pages of thoughts. None of that. Normally, I would feel bad about this, and I expect some of you will think I should have been more diligent about my writing . . . and you may be right.

But what I know is that for the last two weeks I have felt less stressed out, more able to commit to what I’m doing – be it teaching, cleaning, hanging out with friends, grading – and part of that reason is because I simply have more time to do those things. Part of it, also, is that I am finally done with fighting the obligations and responsibilities in my life. I am trying to accept them with joy.

That said, all this might be different if I didn’t know that in six weeks time I will no longer be teaching full-time and will have hours a day to write. Maybe if the teaching gig looked endless, I would need to write every day just to keep myself sustained.

But now, I find myself looking forward to the time when I will be able to write with purpose and with a wandering mind. For months now, I have been – to good effect – squeezing writing into an hour or two in the morning, and while I am getting things done and producing words, I always felt rushed, too busy, anxious about the next thing I needed to do.

So I have decided to honor my writing by not forcing it to feel like that. I know – don’t worry – that I will need to find a way to keep it central, to not let it get gobbled up with other things – and I will. But for now, I am enjoying my last few weeks of full-time professorship, spending more time with my colleagues, trying to be the best teacher I can be, really listening to my students when they talk. I am also working hard to sell my house so that I can realize the “farm” part of my dream. And I am enjoying my life because I am taking time for it.

I do miss writing, but I am working on writing – just not with a pen. Instead, I’m working on it with my life . . . leaving the words to come freely when they must. And boy, does that freedom feel great.

– “Freedom” by ManfromManila on Flickr

Filed by Andi at 5:18 am under Uncategorized
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So when this book came into my mailbox, I immediately thought of my mom, Ruth. Each month, she meets with a book group to discuss works that provoke thought and deeper exploration of life, particularly aspects of faith. Thus, when Jason T. Berggen’s book 10 Things I Hate about Christianity showed up, I immediately thought of my mom. (Plus, my mom is a really talented, really funny writer in her own right, so I love to show her off when I can.)

Here’s what Mom had to say:

Every once in a while, I run across someone who says they would love to come to Jesus but there are all these sticky issues in the way, like hell, all those rules and sin. It would happen even more often when I was a Youth Director and some of our teenagers were just trying to think through the faith they’d grown up with.

Jason Berggren’s 10 things I Hate about Christianity: Working through the Frustrations of Faith is a good guide for both groups and a lot more of use besides. Written with clarity, honesty and plenty of humour, Berggren talks personally about the issues he and every Christian should confront at some time or other and helps to open our minds to wider paths than we might have considered before.

10 things is a good book to keep on hand because sometime we are going to run into another of those thinking, questioning folks.

I know I run into these folks all the time; I am one of these folks some of the time, so maybe I should get my review copy back from Mom so that I have it on hand – or maybe I should just order another one.

In either case, I like books that challenge me to see things in new ways, and I love books that allow for the space in faith for us to question, be angry, mourn, and get frustrated over the mysteries of God. So much of Christianity seems to exclude questions and anger and grief – my guess is people hide these things because their fearful or because we have been taught that these things are shameful. I disagree – asking questions, getting angry (not bitter but angry), and letting ourselves steep in the pain of life so that we can move through this journey with more strength and an ounce more wisdom – these are the things God loves us through. Just look at the book of Lamentations.

So thanks, Mom, for this review and for teaching me to question, explore, and rage against God while also reminding me that God loves me all the while.

– Ten Things I Hate About Christianity by Jason T. Berggren

Filed by Andi at 4:55 am under Book Recommendations
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